Monday, March 3, 2008

Kids music, to whose ears?

I never planned on having children. Kids under five confuse and terrify me, and they know it too. Some of them take advantage of that fact and dance on my head, knowing I will go tharn; stare off into the distance and wait for the parents to come save me. Others are more wary- they retreat to a corner and play quietly, eyeing me slyly from the corner of their eyes. I do the same. While the quiet ones are easier to manage, I always viewed them with even more suspicion and fear then their more demonic, louder counterparts. I knew what to expect from the loud obnoxious kids, the quiet ones could plan, they could really do some damage.

So when I found out my womb had been invaded I knew my life was in for some major changes and that I was not going to enjoy some of them. Kids music and entertainment is probably the big one for this stage of the post gestation period. From those bloody inane Mommy and Me groups with Circle Time and Musical Babies to the god awful Story Hours from older women with big poppy eyes and high pitched voices, kids entertainment can really make you want to drink the Kool Aid.

Don and I really could not do it for long, we made the effort but after a time we could not stomach the music anymore. We play stuff that we listen to for The Boy, which is quite the range of music, pretty much everything except country (I would rather floss my teeth with my own spine than listen to that twanged out caterwauling) and rap (Kill whitey, bang da ho, pop dis one or dat one, are messages my son can do without). So when I saw this video on You tube I could totally relate.

But yeah , we do make concessions. There is a fair amount of Baby Einstein viewing that goes on in our home. I try to look away- but it is oddly compelling stuff. We have a friend who survived the 60's who upon seeing the videos described it to being stoned and watching a Lava Lamp. After awhile, you start to understand what the lamp is trying to tell you.

If you haven't seen a Baby Einstein video before- count yourself lucky and then go Google one before you look at this dark offering. This video is not what we show The Boy but it is exactly what those wacked out videos look like to adults. Enjoy:


Steve said...

"I love you, you love me,
Let's go out and kill Barney,
With a baseball bat and a 2X4
One dead purple dinosaur."

Kids music. Makes me wanna pick up my bananaphone and call someone to complain.

Oh, and not all rap is about kickin' ho's and killin' whitey. Some of it is about gettin' jiggy wit bottles of bub in da club. Something us Newfoundlanders practically invented.

nadinebc said...

I have been lucky, he has not discovered Barney. He doesn't watch much TV, which I think has the worst of it.

There may well be some good rap out there, but I don't have the time to wade through the crap.

One of The Boy's favourite songs is Buddywasiname and the Other Fellas singing Sarah.

Go figure.

Anonymous said...

Loved the "kids Rock" video.
Gosh! I hadn't even thought about having to watch (listen) to all those kids programs. Each day, with each new piece of baby information I'm receiving from my, now pregnant, friends; confirms my decision to not have any kids just a little more... if that was even possible.

Anonymous said...

Too true, Nadine! Love the kid's funny!!! I'll have to look for that! lol! I'm now strangely looking forward to and dreading watching Baby Einstein thanks to you. Your blog is awesome!


Nancy Crozier said...

Last summer our son, not quite 4 years old at the time, was asked by his daycamp counselor to sing his favourite song. He started crooning Neil Young's "Old Man."

We don't listen to much "kids' music" around here, either!