April Fools

I used to be known as a bit of a prankster, I have settled somewhat in recent years, but I had a good run there for awhile. I think the best prank I ever pulled was on a coworker of mine when I worked as a D.B.A. He sat in the cubical next to mine, and we had a pretty odd relationship- we got on well, but we tortured the hell out of each other on a daily basis. It was my goal to prove him wrong on occasion, and it was his goal to see if he could do something to “Break Nadine”- meaning to get me laughing to a point where I couldn’t stop- couldn’t breathe for that matter. Our office wasn’t that large, so when it happened people knew Nadine was broken.

He didn’t have to pull out all the stops either; sometimes it was the sheer incongruity of his statements combined with his impeccable timing. I remember once I was freaking out over a piece of code, trying to get something to run the way I wanted to, and failing each time. Of course Karl could hear me threatening my computer, and cursing the data I was working with. It was probably my lowest point of the day when he popped his head over the divider and asked:

“Historically, which came first, Snoopy as the Red Baron, or the Steve Miller Band?”

It took me a second to actually rip my eyes away from my computer and focus on the nutbar next to me. “What?”

“Historically, which came first, Snoopy as the Red Baron, or the Steve Miller Band?”

“I think it was Snoopy as the Red Baron” I replied, still somewhat confused, and having trouble focusing.

Silence from my colleague. He liked to float the punch lines out slowly, like a balloon rising from the loose grip of a child who is helpless to stop its ascent. And then:

“So you could fly like a Beagle before you could fly like an Eagle?”

And I was toast. All the stress of the day and the complete randomness of his joke just cracked me. It was a while before I caught my breath.

Now there are only so many times a girl can be broken before she starts to plot her revenge. My opportunity came one spring when Karl and his wife took a holiday. I had a plan to do a little redecorating in his cubical. I got permission from the VP and the night before Karl returned, I made my move.

It took 15 boxes of cellophane to complete- but when it was it was done it was a masterpiece.

I started with his pens, pencils, staples, his favorite coffee mug (the one no one else was allowed to use) with coffee still in it, and his little troll dolls on the top of his computer monitor. I wrapped them all, ever so lovingly in cellophane. Then I wrapped his computer, his keyboard, his chair. Nothing on his desk was left unwrapped. Then I wrapped his desk shut, and his cupboard doors and his file cabinet. And then I just wrapped his entire cubical. From top to bottom. It looked like an ice cube in the middle of the office.

When he returned, he was in complete shock at the state of his cubical. He stood there for a few seconds, looked at it, and left.

Then I was in shock.

Where the hell did he go?

It turns out the bugger went home, to get a video camera so he could record it. He had to cut his way into his cubical, and actually seemed to like it in there, all wrapped up in his little plastic product cocoon. The only sound of displeasure that came from him was when he saw his coffee mug wrapped up.

That was my last big prank- I haven’t done anything like that in awhile. Did anyone play any pranks on you today? What is the best prank you have ever seen? Or pulled yourself?