Friday, April 9, 2010

I am lucky. No really. I am.

People have all kinds of different belief systems that help them explain how life works. Many believe in a higher power, God, Jehovah, Allah- the Easter Bunny. Others believe that there is nothing at all- no great puppeteer holding all the strings. I cannot pretend that I have it all figured out myself, but there is one thing I know for sure, I do not believe in coincidence.

Remember a little while back when I told you about my little kidney issue? One of the tests they ordered to have a look at my inner works was an ultrasound. At the time they noticed one kidney was distended. So they ordered a follow up ultrasound a month later.

A couple of weeks ago I went to the Walk-in clinic with my son- who had another ear infection. While there, I asked if the results were in about my last ultrasound. The Walk-in Doctor filed through the papers on my chart, paused, and without looking at me said:There is a spot on your liver.”

Nothing can clear the mind of all thoughts, sense of time, sense of place, even existence like: There is a spot on your: (insert your favorite organ here)

The ultrasound revealed that both kidneys were distended, and seemingly discovered by accident- a nodule on my liver. I am on a waitlist to get an MRI for this, and yes, I am pretty worried. My Poppy, the man my son is named after, died of liver cancer.

It has been a rough few months and it seems like the hits just keep on coming. A few nights ago Don was in a car accident. He made it out with a few bruises and a couple of nasty eggs nesting on his head, but he made it. The car- yes the Corolla we bought last September, (you guessed it- the one with all the recalls!) didn't fare so well.

When I look back over the past nine months or so, I can point to a lot of really crappy bad luck moments. Don getting laid off, Wil getting bitten by a dog, our cat dying, our daycare folding up shop with 2 hours notice, various bad news items from home, a broken foot, my kidneys exploding, etcetera, etcetera.

And I am tempted to wallow a little bit- except I know I shouldn’t.

The doctors I have seen so far have said they doubt it is cancer- I am too young and I am not an alcoholic nor do I have Hepatitis. At least I found out about the spot before I got sick- I don’t feel sick right now. That is a good sign right? They could have told me I have six months to live, but they seem hopeful. Also, Don might not have walked away from that accident the other night. But he did. So really, I have been lucky.

Now I just have to believe that luck will hold.

11 comments:

Nuclear Mom said...

Thinking about and praying for you guys! Finding the nodule now, without other sickness associated is good. Hang in there.

Steve said...

I'm going to ask that big puppeteer to pull a few strings for you.

Let us know how it goes... even your cyber friends are worried about you.

Take care.

nadinebc said...

Thanks to you both, it means a great deal to me to have such good friends in my corner.

Charlie said...

I think that is good luck how this was noticed now, and you feel fine. However minor or serious it is, always best to get it treated at the earliest time in any case. Best wishes for your continued good health.

Rob Cashin said...

Hi Nadine ..

Out, damn'd spot! out, I say!

Thinking about you and hoping it all works out. Keep your spirits up!

walkergirl said...

huge squishy hugs xoxo the kind you gave Paul on the Go train ;)

xoxoxo

HazelWood said...

Yes, it's definitely a good sign.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!
Hugs

nadinebc said...

Thank you everyone- your comments make me smile.

Anonymous said...

Life gets crazy. You are lucky. I hope things settle for you soon and wish nothing but good news for the next little while at least. :)

Steph.

BayGirl said...

Thinking of you, Nadine. Hope it all ends up ok for you. Will keep my fingers and toes crossed that you get some good news in the coming weeks.

nadinebc said...

Thank you. I should hear something tomorrow.