Missing the Rock: Hubby's Holiday Rant

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Hubby's Holiday Rant

Good Day all.

You know, the holidays does different things to different people. Some people become kinder, gentler people, others slowly stew in festering nastiness. The smallest thing can set them off. Today, that somebody is my husband. He has been ranting about holiday movies since November, specifically holiday movie music scores. Now, he wants to share his outrage with you all. Keep in mind folks, his favourite Christmas movies include Bad Santa, and Die Hard.

So here it is, Hubby's Holiday Rant. The first of many I am sure:

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This holiday season I've discovered that Christmas movie trailers are from hell. Aside from a select few, the majority of Christmas themed movies released during the holiday season
are absolute crap and I think the trailers manage to convey this pretty well in the 30 or so seconds allotted for them on prime time TV.

However there is common element in these trailers that for me has recently managed to turn the annoying dial way up on bust:

Why does Hollywood think every trailer for almost every holiday movie has to make use of Tchaikovsky’s "Russian Dance" from the Nutcracker? If you are not familiar with what I'm talking about (trust me, you are) watch this clip from YouTube of some guy playing it on the piano.

It's to the point that when I hear this piece I immediately think of overblown, over budgeted shitty holiday movies ("Fred Claus", "Christmas with the Cranks", "The Santa Claus 3", etc) instead of the actual musical for which it was written. Although I've never actually seen the nutcracker I seriously doubt that Tchaikovsky wanted you to think “wow, look at all the crazy zany things THIS fake family is getting into this Christmas: shit flying everywhere, people falling with gifts in their hands, kids swinging from the ceiling, people falling on ice, Santa and the elves all tripped out and going crazy, some overpaid Hollywood dipshit dad in a Santa Outfit sliding down and falling off a roof somewhere...sooooooo funnyyyy!!!”

Am I being a scrooge? I don't know, but these TV spots are making me wonder if psychologists are going to have to invent something akin to "road" rage called "holiday" rage.

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Yes, methinks they will have to dearest. Just for you.

4 comments:

Unknown said...: you should have hubby back again! that was good. I love christmas but isolate myself from the commercialism of it all. That is fairly easy to do from up here. I wonder if it will still be easy when I get back to Niagara this weekend?!; December 11, 2007 at 3:40 p.m.
Anonymous said...: This will be my 2nd xmas away from Newfoundland. I was so depressed last Christmas morning from watching all that family cheer on tv that by 2:00 I had enough and decided to go to the movies. I went there and saw "Black Christmas" no Nutcracker theme music here. This Christmas Day, I'm taking in "AVP:2". I would prefer to be eating turkey in Upper Island Cove but it's better than crying all day...; December 12, 2007 at 8:53 a.m.
nadinebc said...: Thanks c'est moi, I am sure he will be glad to hear that!

Denise;
I have a rough time being away from home too- if it wasn't for Hubby, and the boy I would spend most of the holiday in a fetal position.; December 12, 2007 at 3:17 p.m.
WhitbyDude01 said...: I think that home is where the heart is and for me that includes both my family AND the land in Newfoundland.

There are times where I ache to go to the woods home, walking, skiing, or even fishing. I still think that Newfoundland is largely an unknown paradise of sorts...when the weather isn't so harsh..hehe; December 14, 2007 at 12:29 p.m.