Weddings and Funerals. The two biggies. All too often these two signposts mark a time in my life when I hop on a plane to be with family. This time it was my Grammy’s funeral and as much as I love being here, it has been difficult. It hurts me to say goodbye, but it hurts more to watch my grandfather try to mend his broken heart. She was the matriarch who kept the family grounded, the sun around which we all revolved, the love of my Granddad’s life. But Grandma was in a lot of pain, and I would not have her back to see her suffer again. Not just so she could ease our pain.
I thought I was done blogging about this, I logged in with another topic pretty well flushed out, but I couldn’t stick with it. This is the direction that I still seem to be pulled in. I was looking at our itinerary for our return trip back to TO when it occurred to me that another visit is drawing to a close, and that I won’t be back for another year. Unless there is another funeral and I fear that is possible. Granddad seems so lost.
It would be nice to be here “just for a visit” but it is so damn expensive to fly here. Cripes, it is cheaper to fly to the UK than to fly to Newfoundland. That burns me. We should be able to fly within our own country more cheaply than to travel out of it. I remember one Christmas my husband and I tried to book flights home- it was going to cost us $2500! Man, I couldn’t sell a kidney for that price. So no, the odd flick home just for a visit is as rare as an honest car salesman. No, most often we are going to a funeral or a wedding.
Thankfully, there are some weddings on the horizon- and I know they are important to my Granddad. He is looking forward to them; he is keeping on for them. My cousin Stephanie is getting married August in PEI. Stephanie with her beautiful curly brown hair, I used to covet those soft ringlets as a child. Little Stephanie I remember as a pretty little thing, is now a beautiful young woman. We were talking at the funeral about how we spent hours making tissue paper flowers for Aunt Catherine’s wedding.
And Kimmie! Another stunningly beautiful cousin (Ahem, it seems everyone in my family is blessed with good looks, I am not sure how that particular gene sequence skipped me but it did) She is doing the deed in October. She is in the final stages of planning now and when we spoke last week her eyes were bright with excitement. Kim’s sister Nicole is expecting a baby in the fall and I know Granddad will want to see the little one. When I visit with Granddad now I always work these events into our conversation and I can see him brighten, come alive again. And when he holds his great grandson Wilson, his smile and laugh illuminates all, and suddenly that dull ache seems to ease a little.
Life finds a way of keeping you going, even when you just don’t seem to have it in you. We do have to say goodbye, and it does hurt. But we also get to say: “Congratulations to the Bride and Groom!” and “Welcome little one!”
Yes, life finds a way and for that I am grateful. Good Luck Stephanie, Kim, and Nicole. Love you all.