You gotta be happy

I needed a pick me up today. Buddywasiname and the Other Fellas gave me a laugh and I hope it does the same for you.

Newfoundland Sayings

I haven't added to my list of Newfoundlandisms in awhile now. So here is one for June 2009:

If I 'ad a face da likes o'yers, me son, I'd walk back'rds

Becoming a Dad

We never really planned for our little guy. Neither of us wanted kids. The plan was to go it without children, and since I had been told I would likely have trouble conceiving we really hadn’t given it much thought.

Until I projectile vomited in the wastebasket at work one cold January morning, after what I thought was an extended bout of the stomach flu; then, suddenly, frighteningly, being pregnant was all I did think about.

When I finally peed on the stick and it came up with the “You’re knocked up” symbol, I could hardly believe it. I was terrified, scared, and nervous. I did not want this! I did not plan for this! Cripes I was plastered over Christmas, what if I pickled the baby already? All of the changes and challenges lay open before me, and I was very unsure of my ability to meet them.

I yelled out to Don, who was downstairs, oblivious to the fact I was even testing for pregnancy, when he came upstairs I handed him the stick. Hoping he would tell me I read it wrong. I hadn’t.
I will never forget the look on his face, and I know I can’t describe it. He was happy. He was trying to hide it but he was happy. And I was somehow comforted by that.

I was at the three month mark when I suffered a subchorionic hemorrhage. Don was at work when it happened. There was so much blood, and a great deal of it appeared to be tissue, I was convinced that the baby was gone. All I could see in my mind was Don’s face, when I told him I was pregnant, and I could not get the image out of my head.

A friend came to rush me to the hospital, I called Don at work, and said there had been an accident and asked him to meet me at the hospital. I didn’t know what was going on, but I did not want to have to explain it all over the phone.

I was in an observation room when Don arrived, waiting to be examined. He open the curtain, worried, wondering what he would find, and I blurted out: ”I think I lost the baby. I am so sorry, I lost the baby”. His face broke. There is no other way to describe it. I killed something in him with those words. I could see it.

It was hours more before I was examined, and hours again before I got an ultrasound to see what was going on. When the Doctor confirmed I was still pregnant I could hardly believe him. They told me my odds of carrying to term were 50/50, put me on bed rest and sent me home.

Somehow we made it through, and we are both overjoyed we did. Our son makes us both better people, he has given us more than we can ever hope to give him. He made my husband a father, and what an exceptional father he is. Don and Wil have an incredible bond. It started the moment my husband found out I was expecting: a bond that was sealed between them the moment Don held Wil in his arms.

Happy Father’s Day Don. We never do things the easy way do we?

New Flash: Premier Williams is Three Years Old.

Jezus does this man ever have the ability to miss the point? This childish outburst is embarrassing. What is next Danny, you going to stamp your feet and hold your breath until your lips turn blue? If only. I have had about all I can take from this bloated windbag.

Photo Album

Photo Album

The album crackles as I open the pages.
Glossies, time machines for the nostalgic,
transport me

Here is a picture of Brendan and I
we’re hanging moons for the camera.
Catherine, arms spread wide, body tilted to the left,
Big grin, bright eyes…”TA DAAAAAA!”
She seems to say.

And there is a shot of Meme under the Christmas tree,
she is dressed in a fuzzy red housecoat.
I laugh now because I know years ahead
the only thing to change about Meme
is the colour of the housecoat.

Look!
A fading photograph
of four pleasant babies in their Sunday Best.
Ron, Cas, Terry and Tony,
members all of the balding “BIG 6”;
And this one, its a favourite of mine.
It captured almost everyone, even Billy, Chris and Phillip,
They are all squeezed one atop the other,
squat together on Grandma’s couch
I can hear laughter, squeals of pain,
and “Hurry up and take the picture”
Mom took that one.

This is everything I know about family.

And here, a picture of Grandma
dancing like a leprechaun in the backyard.
Under the summer sun.
Smiling a silly grin that says she is up to no good.
There is one of Granddad and Grandma
in bed, posing coquettishly.
Grammy is raising a glass of wine to the camera.
I wonder if that is the homemade Rhubarb Wine?
She gave me a glass of that stuff one Christmas:
“This will set you on your ear,” she said.
It did.

This one is of Granddad and I dancing at my wedding.
He is telling me not to cry,
leading me smoothly across the floor.

This last one is where it all started,
a black and white photo,
Grandma and Granddad on their honeymoon.
They stand together beside a car,
Granddad is holding her tight,
smiling in a way that seems to say:
I hold the world in my arms.

This is everything I know about love.

A no go.

Back to the drawing board I guess.

:-(

Another hurdle

Screening interview: pass

Panel Interview: pass

Technical test: pass

Phone advanced technical interview with the company's DBA: complete. Not sure of results yet.

Interview with VP of Company: Not offered yet, but it is on the menu if above went ok

Is it me or is this whole process a bit over the top?

Dealing with idiots

I have learned to handle all kinds of different people, but I have to admit, there are a few I just can't deal with.

Now, if I was a proctologist, I might be able to manage.

Limbo

Give me heaven, or give me hell.

But don't stick me somewhere in between waiting.

I hate waiting.

The interview steeple chase

It has been a busy week for my job searching husband.

After about two solid weeks of searching, cold calling, submitting, begging and pleading, the phone calls have finally started to come in.

On Monday he got an interview with a company for a a DBA position in Toronto. He got all dressed up, prepared himself for the uncomfortable onslaught of questioning and judgment that is the interview process, and headed on down to the big smoke.

He made it through that process with flying colors.

On Wednesday he moved on the the next step in the hiring process, and met with a panel of people he would be working with to see if he would fit in. Of course there was be the usual plethora of technical questions.

He nailed that.

They told him they were very impressed with his interview, and thought he would be a good fit personally in their organization. But, he has few more hurdles to jump yet.

The next step is to write a technical exam. If he does well with that, he needs to meet with the Vice President of the company.

I am not sure what the heck they would have him do after that meeting; a little tête-à-tête with Billy Gates perhaps? Organ donation? What?

The problem is that the technical test is supposed to be administered sometime today, and will be timed, but they haven't told him when it is coming, and he has another interview today for a local job. He has to go to that.

The local job is not exactly what he wants, the pay will be a lot less, and is more of a Web Manager role than strictly DBA, but it is local. He is almost afraid that they will offer it to him today, before he has a chance to complete the interview steeple chase for the Toronto job has been completed. What happens if they offer him the Web job on the spot? Or later today? What does he say without pissing off potential employers?

Any thoughts?

Starting over

I know I haven’t been posting much.

We have had a lot going on, and much of it has come to a head in recent months. Those of you who follow the blog (even now it amazes me that I have any readers left) know that last year Don made the difficult decision to leave a company he was happy with, to work at a place that was closer to home, and seemed to have more opportunity for him to grow professionally. He made the decision to leave, and in a lot of ways it was good for us.

He was home more. Not having to take the Go Train into Toronto every morning and night was amazingly good for us as a family, and when you have a young child nothing is more important the time you have to spend with them. We were able to move to a less congested town and buy a nicer home. And Don was able to get his hands into the guts of SQL Server in a way he had not been able to before.

But most importantly he was here. He was in town. He could take his son to the park while I made dinner. He came with me to send him off to daycare, and was with me to pick him up. There were no cold winter evenings bundled in the van with a baby, waiting for the GO train to decide to arrive. It was such a blessing to have that time as a family, to have that kind of access to Don.

However the new job had a very small work force, and specialized software they created. Time lines were tight, stress level was high, and the recession has hit them hard. They laid of one worker in January and cut Don’s hours in April. After they lost two contracts in May, they told Don they would now have only contract work for him. The company now has four full time employees, and like Don, faces an uncertain future.

So he has been looking for work, and it has been slow going. Not many people are hiring these days, and every time I turn on the news or open the paper I learn about even more layoffs, bankruptcies and closures.

A friend of mine works for RBC, and has told me that a few times now people have come into the bank with their house keys and left, not realizing that some banks are willing to work with their clients. It is hard times all around I guess. It is hard not to feel helpless. Hopeless.

Don has had a few leads, but nothing firm yet. We have pretty much resigned ourselves to the fact that if he does find something soon, he will be once again doing that horribly unreliable, uncomfortable and uncompromising GO train travel again and missing out on a lot of family time. I will go back to feeling a little like a single parent again.

But at least we had this year together; it was all worth it for that.