Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged

1) Agoraphobia – I heard the bells on Christmas day, but wouldn’t
leave my house.

2) Amnesia – I don’t know if I’ll be home for Christmas

3) Attention Deficit disorder – Silent Night, Holy..oooh, look at the pretty lights…can I have some chocolate? Why is France so far away?

4) Borderline Personality Disorder – Thoughts of roasting on an open fire

5) Dementia – I think I’ll be home for Christmas

6) Manic – deck the halls and walls and house and lawn and streets and stores and office and town and car and buses and trucks and trees and fire hydrants and…

7) Schizophrenia – Do you hear what I hear?

8) Multiple Personality disorder – We three kings disoriented are.

9) Narcissistic – hark the herald angels sing about me

10) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle…

11) Oppositional Defiant Disorder – I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus so I burned down the House

12) Paranoid – Santa Claus is Coming to Town to get me

13) Personality Disorder – You better watch out, I’m gonna cry, I’m gonna pout, maybe I’ll tell you why

14) Senile dementia – walking in a winter wonderland miles from my house in slippers and a robe

15) Social Anxiety Disorder – Have yourself a merry little Christmas while I sit here and hyperventilate